Full of anticipation and a case stuffed full of my best LV handbags and fancy shoes, (after all I’d seen Marbella Belles and reckoned I could out-bling the best of them …well, minus the fake boobs, fake tans and liposuction) I was ready for my introduction to the Costa del Sol. Courtesy of the lovely Joyce and Terry (pictured left) we were about to spend the weekend in Puerto Banus, the legendary site of millionaire yacht owners, glitzy night spots and of course, Josh’s stag weekend.
After breakfast at Chez Gerard, T3 (adequate but not brilliant) and an uneventful flight we landed in Malaga in brilliant warm sunshine. I was beginning to see what the Brit’s love affair with the Costa del Sol was all about, and not just for tax evasion purposes (allegedly). After settling in to T&J’s lovely townhouse on the outskirts of Puerto Banus, we headed immediately to their local bar. Starting as we meant to go on, i.e. constant eating and drinking, we ordered a quick pizza to keep us going and I had one of my favourite holiday drinks, a cuba libre (bacardi and coke to you). When it arrived it reminded me of why I love Spain so much, after that measure of bacardi, my cuba was indeed libre…i.e half cut.
We went to the Supermarket to buy essentials like milk, bread and gin on the way home and again I was blown away by how beautifully the Spamish make their Serrano ham. This is just the equivalent of the local Spa shop, and yet look at these beauties.
A short taxi ride in to the port and our evening of glam fun was about to begin. Although out of season and so far less crowded than usual Puerto Banus did live up to its reputation. I was indeed rather entranced by the parade of designer shops and showy, expensive cars that seemed to just drive round 
endlessly, maybe if I had an Aston Martin I’d do the same? The legendary Sinatra’s bar was some of the best people watching I had enjoyed for a long time as I sipped my obligatory glass of Moet. Wasn’t it sweet that the ancient wrinkled Russian mafia-type in the corner was taking out his grand-daughter for the evening? How kind mother nature had been to the extremely skinny girl with the bee stung lips and a 40G bust? How unfortunate that the group of young blondes at the bar, simpering at the group of OAP golfers appeared to have forgotten their skirts and were only wearing belts? Perhaps it was “Help the aged week” as their lack of skirt length seemed to envigorate the ageing golf-types, – charity begins in Puerto Banus it seems. Okay, cynicism apart, it is terrific fun, go and people watch for yourself!
Our choice of restaurant that evening was amazing, due to the lack of people everyone was trying to entice us in, but we shunned the ever popular Picasso’s and ended up falling for the charms of a simple restaurant on the strip called The Grill del Puerto.They started us off with a loaf of hot bread that 
they carved at the tableside and we sampled the house red and rose wines, which were actually lovely. Three of us had the local speciality Prawns pil pil, which came swiming in garlicky olive oil. A tad over-cooked , but then the Spanish to have a tendency to overcook their seafood everywhere, alas. Good 
enough flavours however, and perfect for dunking that lovely hot bread . I had the serrano ham, with some of the sweetest melon I have ever tasted. The highlight of the main courses was Terry’s rabbit stew, which although slighly overcooked, was tender and bursting with flavour. My lamb stew was okay, but maybe could have done with a little longer slow cooking. We finished with the obligatory flan, but were pleased to get a rather lovely apple liquor served with it. Completely clear and ice cold it was very reminiscent of a New York appletini, yum yum! At 18.50 euros a head for the set menu, we thought it a good meal and would go back.
The next day we went to Old Marbella for a wander round, and how beautiful it was. Fabulous little cobbled streets, interesting shops and bags of character. We sat in the glorious sunshine in orange Square and 
had drinks and a plateful of ham and cheese, to feed my growing protein addiction. We walked down to Marbella beach for lunch at La Red, a half on the beach, half on the shore restaurant that 
did amazing fish and paella. .The dish of the meal for me was the babysquid in black ink, which once you got over the appearance, were delicious. Do try it if you are there, 
the stuffing is delicious. This was accompanied by a couple of massive seafood paellas and several bottles of the house wine, it was a wonderful, beachside lunch, to be highly recommended at 20 euros a head.
A stagger back to the house and a lovely siesta and what next? Yes, more eating! Terry and Joyce had booked us in to one of their favourite eating places, The Patio, a traditional Spanish-run 
restaurant. After a Spanish-style amuse bouche of fish in mayonnaise on some toast, we had some amazing starters. Thin slivers of aubergine, deep fried and drizzled with 
honey,traditional ham croquettes(served rather bizarrely with crisps!), scallops in a cava sauce and mussels au gratin. These were really good and quantity enough for at 
least another 8 people, so do go there hungry! My main course was amazing,a slow-cooked oxtail stew, which was flavourful and tender. Don’t have it unless, like me you are not afraid of bones and a very rustic presentation, but honestly , it’s worth it. the others had lamb chops, duck and a very tasty pork fillet with spinach. We followed it with a shared creme brulee which probably wasn’t worth the calories. A really lovely meal, which worked out at about 30 euros per head.
The following day we were leaving to go home, so the choice of final lunch was key. We drove along the coast a little to Alveria and had lunch by the sea at the picturesque Ra-Ma restaurant. A perfect 
choice for our last, lingering food fest. To start we shared crispy, fresh calamari and the prawn pil pil followed by a huge plate of locally fried fish and the amazing noodle version of the paella, the Fiduela which was heavenly. This is a must to try next time you are in Spain. I will be trying to re-create this recipe, so watch this space.
So, the end of a brilliant weekend, what were the highlights? Tapas in Orange Square? Oxtail stew or the amazing noodle paella, or Terry as the only male salsa dancing with a group of 40,female religious enthusiasts at the Andalucia hotel? Actually, perhaps best not to mention that…viva espana!
The Bombay Boys 
Looks lovely! X
cool
give me now